First off, you need to check out this blog entry from a reformed "perfect mom". It's amazing on its own, but actually inspired me to write as well.
Done reading? Ok...
I know as we get older, we get wiser. And for those who don't get wiser with age, well, there's parenthood. I feel very fortunate that I've had the chance to wait this long to have kids and gain a decade of maturity and self-awareness above the average twenty-something. I get to skip the growing pains from wearing those amazing un-adulterated idealistic goggles of young-parenthood; or at least in part. I'm eternally an optimist, so I know there's still going to be hurdles and adjustments.
When I was younger and wanted kids, I did the same things this other mom did in judging parents I saw out and about. "I'll never let my kids watch TV until they're 3-4 yrs old, and even then, only 3 hours a day! TV prohibits interpersonal growth and development that can't be replaced from one-on-one interaction." While I still believe in this concept, I know there's gray areas. I also know that a parent (or even two) can't be the center of a child's attention for 15 hours straight. I've adapted a certain realism to my philosophies. I like to think this denotes maturity. I'm also perfectly accepting that my philosophies might change further as I gain experience in parenting...I'm adaptable that way. At this point, I'd be happy with 3-4 hours of educational, yet not completely creepy and annoying, kid's shows and the remainder one-on-one interaction. We'll see how that gets adjusted with time. There's so many different mediums to entertain children other than TV that also prove entertaining for the parents though, it really makes TV a non-necessity in my mind.
When it comes to setting a healthy lifestyle with food, many parents lose their ground as their time gets cut short. It's soooo much easier to hit the fast-food, especially after a long day at work - especially if you're like the average household where both parents have to work (or are a single parent). I have two thoughts on this, and as with the others, I'm sure they'll adapt over time; however, I have seen the extreme difference with healthy eating vs junk food in my body, mood, and overall quality of life. I grew up with the not-so-healthy and have adjusted on my own to gain control over that part of my life. It's amazing and empowering. I think these life changes can only become more concrete with having kids rather than loose as I want to create the best environment and start for them possible.
My secondary thought on food relates to "who rules the roost." I read a really interesting article about a month ago on the differences between European and American parents on who rules the relationship. Not-surprisingly, American parents have adopted this form of "keep the child happy and quiet" approach: less rules, less consequences; less parental dictatorship. Sticking strictly to the food portion of this topic (because other topics are too expansive for right now), as I was growing up, we were very much a "you eat what you get" household. We were also a "finish what's on your plate or you don't get dessert" household. I've seen more parents these days who structure their lives and routine around what [Johnny] won't eat. This has to start early enough that the child realizes that they have control over the parent, just my thought. If a kid is never taught that it's ok to be picky and they're expected to eat (or at least try) what they think they don't like, they become a lot more open to possibilities. I do actually have friends with kids who insist on at least trying-once anything new put in front of them and I've seen it work. So naysayers :-p
Without delving into my other philosophies (and hearing the across-the-interwebz sigh of "yeah right" coming from my screen), there's plenty I still feel strongly on and know that it takes experience to understand. Screaming children in stores still drive me crazy, but I know that one day - it'll be me. I still have no idea how I'm gonna handle that one. I'll figure it out along the way. People who leave dirty diapers on restaurant tables astound me - I don't care how comfortable I get with being a parent and changing diapers, I will always know that not everyone is, and it's not anyone else's duty to have to deal with my kid's poop. I dive into this experience whole-heartedly, with open eyes and mind, and I expect to grow and adapt with the experience. I also can't wait to re-read this in a year or two and catalog what's been "adjusted". ;-)
~Cheers~
PS Hooray!! Morning sickness subsides (for the most part). Mexican and chocolate cravings persist. :D
No comments:
Post a Comment