So, I seem to be having a very difficult internal struggle with my decision of Midwife/Birthing-Center vs. OBGYN/Birthing-Inn/Hospital. For the longest time, I've really reaaaaaally wanted to do water birth - the whole thing, in the little pool. I'm a fish. I love water. I'm most comfortable and relaxed in the water. Aside from that, I've done rather extensive research on the benefits of water birthing vs. on a table flat on your back, legs in the air. I've also done plenty of research that leads me in a no-questions-about-it decision of wanting natural vs. drugs for the delivery - which also leads right back to the awesomeness of water birthing. (Scary factoid: 40% of Northern Va hospital births end up in cesarean section.)
The dilemma here is threefold:
1) This is my first pregnancy and I have no idea what to expect. Everything is going normal as of now, all of my bloodwork and tests are "boring" according to the OBGYN I'm currently seeing. However, I still have 6 months to go...well, 6-7 depending on how long I incubate this little sprog. Anything could happen. I have no past experience to go off of to determine if my body will react normal or weird to this whole pregnancy thing.
2) The OBGYN I'm seeing currently is really awesome; however, they work with the Loudoun Birthing Inn which is off of Loudoun County Hospital - which does not allow full water birth. They allow you to sit in a nice warm bubbly tub for the laboring part, but then you have to get out and lay on the slab to actually birth the child. So you get part of the benefit at least, but the whole idea is that water birthing allows for a less traumatic transition from mommy-belly to real-world, plus less risk of tearing. The facilities are nicer than a hospital, yet still look semi-hospitalish (the same uncomfortable bed and the "sleep-chair" for the spouse looks less-than-comfy), but you are expected to stay over-night - which I kind of like for monitoring the first 24 hours. They also have people to assist with first-24-hr feeding so new-mommy can rest, and they have a super secure facility and nursery. Also, if anything does go wrong, the hospital is right there, and there's a nic-u for baby-emergencies. If an emergency arises, I know minutes mean the difference between safe and not.
3) The Birthing Center/Midwife: There's only one full-on birthing-center in this area - Chantilly. They have 4 rooms with real furnishings: Queen sized bed, couches in the rooms, chairs, your own bathroom, a birthing tub IN the room where you can do the full complete birth and after-birth relaxation in the tub. You're not separated from your baby after birth, you're allowed to have whomever and as many people as you want with you (friends/family - I'm sure there's a limit, but they mention 4-5 people like it's nothing - not that I'd want an audience), you are encouraged to bring your own snacks/drinks and to ingest fluids throughout labor and move around rather than being strapped to an IV and continuous monitoring system (they do incremental monitoring). All of this is supposed to help further the natural process of childbirth. It sounds perfect for me. But I'm still scared....it's 8 min from the hospital, it's my first pregnancy....granted, it's my first pregnancy and a hospital-setting is the farthest thing from relaxing & happy to me...and I should be comfortable and this experience should be magical...but is the risk high enough to warrant forgoing comfort? Oh, and the whole process leads to the mommy not staying overnight - you leave within a few hours of birth (which I'm not too sure about - I like the idea of monitoring for 24 hrs before release).
I would definitely welcome any educated advice from mommies out there on this decision. (Please don't read that as needing advice on natural vs. medicated child birth - I've already had more people than not try to push me and tell me I dont want that...no, no...I'm pretty sure I know what I want and why - I just don't know where.)
Adventure-Progress
Monday, March 12, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Ode to the Granola-Mom....
First off, you need to check out this blog entry from a reformed "perfect mom". It's amazing on its own, but actually inspired me to write as well.
Done reading? Ok...
I know as we get older, we get wiser. And for those who don't get wiser with age, well, there's parenthood. I feel very fortunate that I've had the chance to wait this long to have kids and gain a decade of maturity and self-awareness above the average twenty-something. I get to skip the growing pains from wearing those amazing un-adulterated idealistic goggles of young-parenthood; or at least in part. I'm eternally an optimist, so I know there's still going to be hurdles and adjustments.
When I was younger and wanted kids, I did the same things this other mom did in judging parents I saw out and about. "I'll never let my kids watch TV until they're 3-4 yrs old, and even then, only 3 hours a day! TV prohibits interpersonal growth and development that can't be replaced from one-on-one interaction." While I still believe in this concept, I know there's gray areas. I also know that a parent (or even two) can't be the center of a child's attention for 15 hours straight. I've adapted a certain realism to my philosophies. I like to think this denotes maturity. I'm also perfectly accepting that my philosophies might change further as I gain experience in parenting...I'm adaptable that way. At this point, I'd be happy with 3-4 hours of educational, yet not completely creepy and annoying, kid's shows and the remainder one-on-one interaction. We'll see how that gets adjusted with time. There's so many different mediums to entertain children other than TV that also prove entertaining for the parents though, it really makes TV a non-necessity in my mind.
When it comes to setting a healthy lifestyle with food, many parents lose their ground as their time gets cut short. It's soooo much easier to hit the fast-food, especially after a long day at work - especially if you're like the average household where both parents have to work (or are a single parent). I have two thoughts on this, and as with the others, I'm sure they'll adapt over time; however, I have seen the extreme difference with healthy eating vs junk food in my body, mood, and overall quality of life. I grew up with the not-so-healthy and have adjusted on my own to gain control over that part of my life. It's amazing and empowering. I think these life changes can only become more concrete with having kids rather than loose as I want to create the best environment and start for them possible.
My secondary thought on food relates to "who rules the roost." I read a really interesting article about a month ago on the differences between European and American parents on who rules the relationship. Not-surprisingly, American parents have adopted this form of "keep the child happy and quiet" approach: less rules, less consequences; less parental dictatorship. Sticking strictly to the food portion of this topic (because other topics are too expansive for right now), as I was growing up, we were very much a "you eat what you get" household. We were also a "finish what's on your plate or you don't get dessert" household. I've seen more parents these days who structure their lives and routine around what [Johnny] won't eat. This has to start early enough that the child realizes that they have control over the parent, just my thought. If a kid is never taught that it's ok to be picky and they're expected to eat (or at least try) what they think they don't like, they become a lot more open to possibilities. I do actually have friends with kids who insist on at least trying-once anything new put in front of them and I've seen it work. So naysayers :-p
Without delving into my other philosophies (and hearing the across-the-interwebz sigh of "yeah right" coming from my screen), there's plenty I still feel strongly on and know that it takes experience to understand. Screaming children in stores still drive me crazy, but I know that one day - it'll be me. I still have no idea how I'm gonna handle that one. I'll figure it out along the way. People who leave dirty diapers on restaurant tables astound me - I don't care how comfortable I get with being a parent and changing diapers, I will always know that not everyone is, and it's not anyone else's duty to have to deal with my kid's poop. I dive into this experience whole-heartedly, with open eyes and mind, and I expect to grow and adapt with the experience. I also can't wait to re-read this in a year or two and catalog what's been "adjusted". ;-)
~Cheers~
PS Hooray!! Morning sickness subsides (for the most part). Mexican and chocolate cravings persist. :D
Done reading? Ok...
I know as we get older, we get wiser. And for those who don't get wiser with age, well, there's parenthood. I feel very fortunate that I've had the chance to wait this long to have kids and gain a decade of maturity and self-awareness above the average twenty-something. I get to skip the growing pains from wearing those amazing un-adulterated idealistic goggles of young-parenthood; or at least in part. I'm eternally an optimist, so I know there's still going to be hurdles and adjustments.
When I was younger and wanted kids, I did the same things this other mom did in judging parents I saw out and about. "I'll never let my kids watch TV until they're 3-4 yrs old, and even then, only 3 hours a day! TV prohibits interpersonal growth and development that can't be replaced from one-on-one interaction." While I still believe in this concept, I know there's gray areas. I also know that a parent (or even two) can't be the center of a child's attention for 15 hours straight. I've adapted a certain realism to my philosophies. I like to think this denotes maturity. I'm also perfectly accepting that my philosophies might change further as I gain experience in parenting...I'm adaptable that way. At this point, I'd be happy with 3-4 hours of educational, yet not completely creepy and annoying, kid's shows and the remainder one-on-one interaction. We'll see how that gets adjusted with time. There's so many different mediums to entertain children other than TV that also prove entertaining for the parents though, it really makes TV a non-necessity in my mind.
When it comes to setting a healthy lifestyle with food, many parents lose their ground as their time gets cut short. It's soooo much easier to hit the fast-food, especially after a long day at work - especially if you're like the average household where both parents have to work (or are a single parent). I have two thoughts on this, and as with the others, I'm sure they'll adapt over time; however, I have seen the extreme difference with healthy eating vs junk food in my body, mood, and overall quality of life. I grew up with the not-so-healthy and have adjusted on my own to gain control over that part of my life. It's amazing and empowering. I think these life changes can only become more concrete with having kids rather than loose as I want to create the best environment and start for them possible.
My secondary thought on food relates to "who rules the roost." I read a really interesting article about a month ago on the differences between European and American parents on who rules the relationship. Not-surprisingly, American parents have adopted this form of "keep the child happy and quiet" approach: less rules, less consequences; less parental dictatorship. Sticking strictly to the food portion of this topic (because other topics are too expansive for right now), as I was growing up, we were very much a "you eat what you get" household. We were also a "finish what's on your plate or you don't get dessert" household. I've seen more parents these days who structure their lives and routine around what [Johnny] won't eat. This has to start early enough that the child realizes that they have control over the parent, just my thought. If a kid is never taught that it's ok to be picky and they're expected to eat (or at least try) what they think they don't like, they become a lot more open to possibilities. I do actually have friends with kids who insist on at least trying-once anything new put in front of them and I've seen it work. So naysayers :-p
Without delving into my other philosophies (and hearing the across-the-interwebz sigh of "yeah right" coming from my screen), there's plenty I still feel strongly on and know that it takes experience to understand. Screaming children in stores still drive me crazy, but I know that one day - it'll be me. I still have no idea how I'm gonna handle that one. I'll figure it out along the way. People who leave dirty diapers on restaurant tables astound me - I don't care how comfortable I get with being a parent and changing diapers, I will always know that not everyone is, and it's not anyone else's duty to have to deal with my kid's poop. I dive into this experience whole-heartedly, with open eyes and mind, and I expect to grow and adapt with the experience. I also can't wait to re-read this in a year or two and catalog what's been "adjusted". ;-)
~Cheers~
PS Hooray!! Morning sickness subsides (for the most part). Mexican and chocolate cravings persist. :D
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